Grief In The Time of Covid

I was upset, how the neighbor reared his words about lack of belonging. Where renters were a grey area in a building agreement, and he disagreed about us being there. I could feel his frustration, but I couldn’t stop my own tears that poured through. It wasn’t just his words, or the interaction, it was…

Mothers and The Act of Noticing

I stood in the kitchen with a friend, the dogs circling like sharks hoping for a scrap of food to accidentally fall from the bench above. “I tell you, it’s going to be the women who heal this world.” She said while twirling a spoon in a bowl. Her eyes focused on the task at…

This Part Wasn’t Planned

I looked at my now empty travel bag. My life once folded into it, now domesticated into a dresser drawer, still half open, looming next to my shoulder. This part wasn’t planned. This part wasn’t supposed to be a part of the story, but it is now. I’ve been in two places in my head…

In A Time Of Fear

The essence of living will never be in the grand form or the stressors we have to live under, it is the simple act of recognizing how the little things make us feel whole.

To The Snow Country of Canada

I held the steering wheel, knuckles white with stress. Snow flurried and swirled, hitting the windshield. Slightly irritated at the peppy music coming through the speaker, I focused intently on the car in front of me, moving the steering wheel gently as my back tire slid. As I descended on the other side of the…

Before We Die Young

There is something uniquely powerful about understanding ourselves in its purest form. To recognize the things that move us, that inspire, that shift our chapters to ones of our choosing, not to chapters that seek to control us. Sitting outside every day in the Oregon summer air on my own shifted how I see time…

The Seams of Oceans

It does not really hit my consciousness that I am headed somewhere until the walk across the tarmac. The last goodbye settles in my bones as I look up to the windowpanes of the terminal. Hoping Fern can see me walk the steps up to the plane. Those steps always lead to a different corner…

For Just A Little While

My foot sunk into the sand with each step, the tide slowly coming in. A lazy leopard seal waving its arm as I pass by just as a boat is coming in from the sea. My nose dripping from the change in the weather. The sea breeze calming the headache across my bones. For the…

Closing the Envelope of 2018

New Year’s Eve is one of those rare days where I can remember where I was almost every year of my life. I can trace back to old feelings, old ways of expression, and the hidden pockets of thoughts I keep all tucked in the same corner. The thoughts that I enter into when ringing…

Along the Ridges of Fiordland

I slung my Gregory Jade backpack up onto my shoulders, the weight settling into my small frame. The sandflies swirling around me in a frenzy to bite my delicate skin. I breathed in, looked at Fern, and thought, “let us all hope this does not kill me.” For those who have followed my journey, you…

A Dance With the Past

The rain softly hit the pavement as I walked through the gate to Victorian times. A mix of people in Victorian dresses and suits walked along old cobblestone streets next to steamers and trains.