The Mountain in Me

I let the momentum carry me until all I could see were the wisps of clouds moving slowly across the light blue sky. Just before the moment the chains in suspension carried my weight back to the view of the earth. I moved my legs back and forth to swing myself up once more to the sky, embracing the feeling of being alive in momentum. Knowing the moments in which I feel well enough to move should be cherished.

I let the motion of the swing hold my fragile heart. Leaning back for my hair to ever so gently grace the earth as if I were the healthy child I was ten years ago. I ignored the noise of the world and put my headphones in to feel at peace. To feel the gentle rocking of movement that soothed my soul to the feeling of suspended rhythm in a world that can be overwhelmed by the rush of sounds.

The pains of the physical body wanted to grip my mental capacity. It sought to claim my thoughts and gnarl them into incapacitated understandings of what I truly was capable of. And some days it does grip every fiber of my being. Making it hard to breathe in the open air, and crippling my perseverance into fragmented space. In that moment is where mindfulness taught me to slow down. To breathe. To focus. To realize all that I have overcome, and all that I will overcome.

Perhaps in the mountains of the pacific northwest I have learned that I am capable of anything I set my fierce heart in believing I can do. Capable of conquering mountains, because the greatest mountain to conquer is in myself. To move past the barriers of physicality has been my life’s strife, but it moves my heart to understand even better the great battles unseen that everyone faces. The mountains that exist within hearts that can be just as gripping as physical limitation. The mountains unnamed by years of buried fears, schemes of negative influence, and destructive self talk.

On the swings of my childhood playground, I let my heart reach to the sky. Once again dreaming sweetly of far off places. Knowing that this trying time is only for a season. A season of dark winter that can only happen with the juxtaposition and the promise of new life when the flowers bloom in spring. How wonderful spring will be when new life sprouts from the seeds of love planted in this season.


Bethany Jane

**Photo Cred: Lacey C.**




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