I beamed proudly as Fern walked through the door from a long day of work. All laundry was done, the bed was made, the dishes were washed, dinner was cooking on the stove, and I had banana bread baking in the oven. Something I never thought I would take pride in, but being a domestic goddess is not about keeping a tidy home, it is about loving the people you keep the tidy home for.
I hear all too often of the relationship quarrel about messes, dirty dishes, and what to do for dinner. It creates tension and often breaks apart relationships that misinterpret the task. Finding a ritual and sense of calm in a domestic duty is learning to shift the perspective. I clean, cook, and fold because I care about Fern. He probably could care less about a tidy home, but he knows it is just one way that I share my affection for him.
Since I work from home, I take on the perspective that my household duties are a part of my daily routine. I wake up and do the dishes, which gives me a fresh start to the day with a feeling of organization. Plus, the dishes are a continual task, which means incorporating it as a part of a zen morning helps it feel less like a chore.
Once the kitchen is clean, I head to my office, plug in all the lights (overhead lights make me feel sick since surgery), light a candle, check my tasks for the day, and then type away for a few hours. If laundry needs to be done, I throw it all in during a snack and tea break before continuing my work.
I could choose to grumble about such domestic duties, for many do. I am not much a creature who sticks to a routine, but in the winter season, sometimes a routine helps from going stir crazy. The freedom that my job allows also lets me accomplish more tasks at home, and more time to be able to take care of Fern after his long working days.
Being a domestic goddess is about taking pride in your space, and in your relationship. It is also about accepting help. When Fern is home for a longer period of time, he helps out and reminds me that although I do my household duties out of affection, I also do not have to do it all alone.
In this winter season, I’ve made many loaves of bread, attempted making apple sauce, baked off several new kinds of cookies, and have learned how to utilize a crock pot to its full potential. I am a domestic goddess in my own way, and for this season, I can be proud of that.
I may have to clean every day and vacuum up whatever our pet roommates leave behind, but it is something that I have learned to cherish. Fern and I may not always be living domestically, which is why I choose to tidy up my space to show my affection and my care for my sweetheart.
Being a domestic goddess is also about taking care of yourself. For many years I ignored my body’s cries of pain and the need to recharge my soul. With the outdoors not always being option when it is far below freezing, I reach for a book and cozy up in my sacred space.
The time spent in other worlds of books helps me as a writer, a dreamer, and recharges my sense of self by connecting with characters. To avoid cabin fever, and to continue to heal in my journey, I have learned to value and take the time to actually take care of myself.
Whatever season you may be in, I hope you choose to see the blessing in it, and take pride in what you do. I may be a domestic goddess for this season, but the next one may look very different. Nonetheless, I cherish this time and the chance to be able to further my skills in all areas of my life.
Love and Light,